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25th June 2007
how does one know when its actually love?
a frend asked me this today, and at first i didnt know wht to answer him. he was of course in a situation himself, a sensitive one..love of a frend gone bad..gone wild, they found Love but its a story becoming sad. because it has no happy ending, it has no future.
he asked me if ive ever gone thru as he is going thru right now. yes i answered.
i told him all the difficult time i use to have trying to figure out wht this f***ing Love is all about. me and my stupid curiosity, brought me to many people that has shaped how i see life today, and how i feel love today..and as i was trying my very best to sound strong and arrogant, but i cant help but realise that it does still hurt.
my first love made me blind.it blinded me from making the right decision. it delayed me from saying goodbye.But be it delay as many would say, i fnally did it. and as much as it hurts doing the most boldly decision, i did it. i let him go.
then along came the rumblingLove.the type every gurl would naiveLy come across. particularly when your future was just crushed right before your eyes.as my first love blinded me, it left me stupid of judging anything right at all.love became cheap, the words became worthLess, ...love was just a word. a fourLetter word.
as my blindness never made me see light, let alone another forever, then it was soulLove. to bits i loved him. till ashes may we live together, in our world where there is no need for forever, just right now. that very moment. because we hate to talk about the future. because there is no such destiny. there is no future, between me and him. this is and was and will always be love. its just that its not meant for forever. its not meant for weddings and childrens and grandchildrens...it was for the soul of my heart, the healing of it. the nurturing process of it. to be ready for my next discovery of love...the love that sounds a little more forever to me..
my RecentLove, myMiaww. (as inserted)
p/s: hang in there bro, just relax ait.
how does one know when its actually love?
a frend asked me this today, and at first i didnt know wht to answer him. he was of course in a situation himself, a sensitive one..love of a frend gone bad..gone wild, they found Love but its a story becoming sad. because it has no happy ending, it has no future.
he asked me if ive ever gone thru as he is going thru right now. yes i answered.
i told him all the difficult time i use to have trying to figure out wht this f***ing Love is all about. me and my stupid curiosity, brought me to many people that has shaped how i see life today, and how i feel love today..and as i was trying my very best to sound strong and arrogant, but i cant help but realise that it does still hurt.
my first love made me blind.it blinded me from making the right decision. it delayed me from saying goodbye.But be it delay as many would say, i fnally did it. and as much as it hurts doing the most boldly decision, i did it. i let him go.
then along came the rumblingLove.the type every gurl would naiveLy come across. particularly when your future was just crushed right before your eyes.as my first love blinded me, it left me stupid of judging anything right at all.love became cheap, the words became worthLess, ...love was just a word. a fourLetter word.
as my blindness never made me see light, let alone another forever, then it was soulLove. to bits i loved him. till ashes may we live together, in our world where there is no need for forever, just right now. that very moment. because we hate to talk about the future. because there is no such destiny. there is no future, between me and him. this is and was and will always be love. its just that its not meant for forever. its not meant for weddings and childrens and grandchildrens...it was for the soul of my heart, the healing of it. the nurturing process of it. to be ready for my next discovery of love...the love that sounds a little more forever to me..
my RecentLove, myMiaww. (as inserted)
p/s: hang in there bro, just relax ait.
